By Jerry Aragon
"Felix Navidar" (Merry Christmas)
If a person goes up to the podium to give a speech, he or she gives the speech...puts everybody to sleep and goes back and sits down. But, when a comedian goes to the podium or takes the stage, it's a different story! The comedian has to get something in return for his time on stage...LAUGHS! And if the laughs don't come, the comedian can soon find himself or herself on a stagecoach leaving Dodge City very quickly!
So, having stage fright the way I do, I've had settle for being a "sit-down" comedian on the computer, and be happy with it. The only problem in doing comedy or writing humor pieces on the Internet, I don't really know if the humor pieces I write are funny, because I cannot see the visitors at the other end of the Internet! As I said, I've been in the humor business for a long time, but I'm just now learning how to write humor pieces.
The following type of humor, is the most difficult to write, because the information provided me, was second-hand in nature. In other words, the incident actually happened and is a true story, but the story was not told to me directly...but to a friend...who in turn, told me the story, etc.
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Felice Navidad; (definition) A Spanish phrase meaning Merry Christmas
Back in the Stone Age of the 1960's, I used to work in a grocery store at night after school, and on week-ends. It was the Christmas season, and many time grocers place a little holiday greeting at the bottom of the grocery receipt. (felice navidad) At least they do in this part of the country (New Mexico/USA)
One day, the assistant manager told me this funny story, that actually happened to her at the store, when an irate man called the store complaining that one of the grocery checkers cheated him out of some money!
All of us have to deal with people with a bad attitude: obnoxious; hateful; profane; inconsiderate; pig-headed; demanding; belligerent; pushy and they want everything their way, etc. She said the man was so obnoxious, vulgar and belligerent on the phone, and chewed her butt out when he called! When the man told her why he was calling, she started laughing (to herself), and she tried to keep him from knowing she was laughing at him!
As he voiced his complaint, he told her that it appeared to him, that he had been over-charged by two cents, and he said, "The grocery receipt is light and faded, but it appears to me at the bottom of the receipt, that the name of the checker is "Felix Navidar," or something like that!" Trying to hold back the laughing she responded, "Yes...yes...'Felix Navidar,' is one of our new employees, and I'll talk to him about it!" (Laugh...laugh) The assistant manager's smile got so wide that she almost got lipstick on her ears! "Sir, I'll make sure it doesn't happen again (laugh-laugh), and next time you come into the store, bring your receipt and we'll give you a refund for two cents!
The assistant manager hung up the phone, and almost fell on the floor laughing at this jerk! "The customer is always right," she said, "and this jerk certainly got his "two-cents," in...both figuratively and literally...ha-ha-ha!"
Copyright; Jerry L. Aragon (The Humor Doctor)
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